THE ADOPTION READER:
Birth Mothers, Adoptive Mothers & Adopted
Daughters Tell Their Stories. Susan Wadia-Ells,
Editor. Seal Press, 1995. Thirty women,
including well-known writers and adoption
activists, write eloquently about a wide range
of adoption experiences including international
adoption.
THE ADOPTION
TRIANGLE: Sealed or Open Records, How They
Affect Adoptees, Birth Parents and Adoptive
Parents. Arthur Sorosky, et al.
Anchor Books, 1984. Based on 1000 interviews of
adoptees, adoptive parents, birthparents.
ADOPTION WISDOM: A
Guide to the Issues and Feelings of Adoption. Marlou Russell. Broken Branch Productions,
1996. Well-balanced perspective that fosters
insight and understanding of adoptees, birth
parents and adoptive parents.
BEING ADOPTED: The
Lifelong Search for Self. David
M. Brodzinsky, et al. Doubleday, 1992. Uses Erik
Erikson’s stages of life, the expertise of
adoption professionals and adoptees to show how
adoption is experienced over a lifetime.
JOURNEYS AFTER
ADOPTION: Understanding Lifelong Issues.Jayne Schooler and Betsie Norris. Bergin &
Garvey, 2002. Drawing on experiences of dozens
of triad members, authors offer insight into
concerns, issues, joys and pain experienced by
those whose lives are framed by adoption.
LOST & FOUND: The
Adoption Experience. Betty Jean Lifton. Perennial Library, 1988 (first ed.
1979). Based on an adoptee’s talks with other
adoptees but includes conversations with
birthparents and adoptive parents as well.
MAY THE CIRCLE BE
UNBROKEN: An Intimate Journey Into the Heart of
Adoption. Lynn Franklin and
Elizabeth Ferber. Harmony Books, 1998. A
no-nonsense book that weaves a poignant memoir
of a woman who reunited with the child she gave
up for adoption with many stories from others
into an intelligent, well-informed and complete
picture of the varied experience of adoption.
BIRTHMOTHERS: Women
Who Have Relinquished Babies for Adoption Tell
Their Stories. Merry Bloch Jones.
Chicago Review Press, 1993. Seventy women share
their experiences of giving birth and placing a
child for adoption, raising subsequent children,
searching and being found.
THE GIFT WRAPPED IN
SORROW: A Mother’s Quest for Healing. Jane Guttman. JMJ Publishing, 1999. A memoir
spanning three decades of loss and love, regret
and remorse during which the author discovers
the gifts that are ever-present amid many
saddening recollections.
THE GIRLS WHO WENT AWAY: The
Hidden History of Women Who
Surrendered Children for Adoption in
the Decades Before Roe v. Wade.
Ann Fessler. Penguin Press,
2006. The author brings out
into the open for the first time the
astonishing untold history of the
million and a half women who
surrendered children for adoption
due to enormous family and social
pressure in the several decades
before Roe v. Wade.
HEALING A HOLE IN A
HEART: One Birthmother’s Journey Into the
Adoption Triangle. Nancy Mac
Isaac. Mac Isaac Enterprises, 1998. A guide to
weathering reunions, making adjustments and
building relationships; facing fears and finding
friendships.
I HOPE YOU HAVE A
GOOD LIFE. Campbell Armstrong.
Crown, 2000. A powerful, life-affirming,
emotion-stirring account of a mother and a
daughter, parted for forty years through
adoption, and reunited only when both are
terminally ill. One of the finest memoirs
written in many years, it is a book to lift your
spirits, not to dampen them.
THE OTHER MOTHER: A
Woman’s Love for the Child She Gave Up for
Adoption. CarolSchaefer. Soho
Press Inc., 1991 {Made into a Moment of Truth TV
movie}. A Bay Area woman tells her experience of
pregnancy in a Midwest home for “unwed mothers,”
relinquishing her son, her years of loss, her
search and reunion.
OUT OF THE SHADOWS:
Birthfather Stories. Mary Martin
Mason. Howard, 1995. Frank, honest look at those
who had confidence to speak out. Often
invisible, birthfathers care deeply and in many
cases had no say in their child’s future.
SOUL CONNECTION:
Memoir of a Birthmother’s Healing Journey. Ann Hughes. Otter Bay Books, 1999. Captures
the spiritual journey of a birthmother who holds
onto hope that something, someday, will heal the
darkest, blackest hole in her life – the
surrendering of her daughter.
ADOPTEES COME OF
AGE: Living within Two Families.
Ronald J. Nydam. John Knox Press, 1999. For
adoptees and anyone who relates to them.
Describes distinct emotional and spiritual
challenges and emphasizes importance of ongoing
issues of adoption and relinquishment.
ADOPTION HEALING: A
Path to Recovery. Joe Soll.
Liturgical Press, 2000. Traces adopter’s
personality from birth through developmental
milestones; techniques for healing,
visualizations and anger management.
JOURNEY OF THE
ADOPTED SELF: A Quest for Wholeness. Betty Jean Lifton. Basic Books, 1994. Lifton
addresses the myths surrounding adoption. This
book delves into psychological effects of
adoption, and is recommended for reading after
one or more of the general books.
THE PRIMAL WOUND:
Understanding the Adopted Child.
Nancy Verrier. Gateway Press, 1993. Order from
the author at 919 Village Center, Lafayette CA
94549. $14.95 plus $3.00 S/H. Provides profound
information about pre-and perinatal psychology,
attachment, bonding and loss. Outlines the pain
of loss and abandonment and gives insight into
the healing process.
SEARCHING FOR A
PAST: The Adopted Adult’s Unique Process of
Finding Identity. Jayne Schooler.
Pinon Press, 1995. Provides insight into
adoptees’ motivations to search for their birth
families. Essential resource for all members of
the adoption triad as well as anyone desiring a
better understanding of the search and reunion
process.
SECOND CHOICE:
Growing Up Adopted. Robert
Anderson, M.D. Badger-Hill, 1993. A black market
adoptee who is also a psychiatrist tells his
story, showing that the search process can be
healing even when no birth relatives are found.
SYNCHRONICITY AND
REUNION : The Genetic Connection of Adoptees and
Birthparents. LaVonne Harper
Stiffler. Stiffler, 1992. A book exploring the
nature/nurture connections through studies,
anecdotes and the author’s life situation.
TWENTY THINGS
ADOPTED KIDS WISH THEIR ADOPTIVE PARENTS KNEW. Eldridge, Sherrie. Dell, 1999. A guide to
emotions of the adoptee and ways adoptive
parents can allay feelings of fear, abandonment
and shame.
WHERE ARE MY BIRTH
PARENTS? A Guide for Teenage Adoptees. Karen Gravelle and Susan Fischer. Walker 1993.
Discusses how and why adopted children may try
to locate and get to know their birthparents and
examines possible psychological benefits and
problems associated with the process.
WHOSE CHILD? An Adoptee’s Healing Journey from Relinquishment
Through Reunion…and Beyond.
Kasey Hamner. Triad, 2000. Well-written and
poignant in its honest story, this book will
help other adoptees, birth parents and adoptive
parents understand the complexities of the
issues associated with adoption and the
importance of reunion in the lives of adoptees.
THE MULBERRY BIRD:
Story of an Adoption. Anne Brodzinsky. Perspectives Press, 1996. For
younger children (beyond preschool); tells the
story of a mother bird who tries to care for her
baby, then decides to place it for adoption, and
explains her reasons in a non-threatening way.
OVER THE MOON: An
Adoption Tale. Karen Katz. Henry
Holt, 1997. In this story of international
adoption, the baby has a history, which the
adoptive parents preserve as they practice
telling the baby its story, including the
birthmother and foster parents.
TELL ME AGAIN ABOUT
THE NIGHT I WAS BORN. Jamie Lee
Curtis. 1996. Beautifully illustrated book in
which the story of a young adopted girl’s birth
is a cherished family tale.
TELL ME A REAL
ADOPTION STORY. Betty Jean Lifton. Illustrated by Claire A. Nivola. Knopf,
1993. A small boy listens to his adoptive
mother’s made-up stories about his adoption but
insists on the real one, which she then tells.
This story he likes, because it’s his.
ONE WONDERFUL YOU.
Francie Portnoy. An explanation of
how adoptees are a wonderful blend
of two families.
ADOPTING THE HURT
CHILD: Hope for Families with Special Needs: A
Guide for Parents and Professionals. Gregory C. Keck and Regina M. Kupecky. Pinon
Press, 1998. Comprehensive and beneficial guide
includes foreign adoption and integrates social
and psychological issues that interrupt the
adopted children’s normal development.
COURAGEOUS BLESSING:
Adoptive Parents & Search. Carol
L. Demuth. A thoughtfully written handbook for
adoptive parents. Available through Aries Center
, 1437 Meandering Way, Garland TX 75040-4213 ;
214/414-3639.
DEAR BIRTHMOTHER. Kathleen Silber and Phyllis Speedlin. Corona ,
1991 (1 st ed. 1983). A compilation of letters
written to birthmothers by the adoptive parents
of their children. An early perspective on open
adoptions.
THE FAMILY OF
ADOPTION. Joyce M. Pavao. Beacon
Press, 1998. Describes the developmental stages
of the adopted child.
HOW TO OPEN AN
ADOPTION: A Guide for Parents and Birthparents
of Minors. Patricia Martinez Dorner. R-Squared Press, 1997. A valuable
resource for families in closed adoptions, those
who are in the process of opening an adoption or
those who have already done so.
INSIDE TRANSRACIAL
ADOPTION: Strength-based, culture-sensitizing
parenting strategies for inter-country or
domestic adoptive families that don’t match. Gail Steinberg and Beth Hall. Perspectives
Press, 2000. Comprehensive guide aimed primarily
at white adoptive parents. A must-read for
multi-racial families created through adoption.
RAISING ADOPTED
CHILDREN: A Parent’s Guide to Rearing Children
in an Adoptive Family. Lois R.
Melina. Harper Perennial, Rev. 1998. Editor of
Adopted Children newsletter, mother of
two adopted children, draws on latest research
in psychology, sociology and medicine to guide
parents through stages of adoptees’ development.
Addresses open, international and transracial
adoption.
REAL PARENTS, REAL
CHILDREN: Parenting the Adopted Child. Holly Van Gulden and Lisa M. Bartels-Rabb.
Crossroad, New York 1995. A leading adoption
authority gives practical advice for parents on
how to talk with their children about adoption.
Addresses the special challenges and concerns of
interracial, international and older-child
adoptions.
SECRET THOUGHTS OF AN ADOPTIVE
MOTHER. Jana Wolff. Vista
Communications, 2000. One
adoptive mother's personal insights
into her adoption journey.
SHARED FATE: A
Theory of Adoption and Mental Health. H. David Kirk. Free Press, 1964. Adoptive
father/sociologist expresses a theory of
adoptive relationships – thoroughly attuned,
insightful, compassionate and timeless in its
wisdom.
TALKING WITH YOUNG
CHILDREN ABOUT ADOPTION. Mary
Watkins and Susan Fisher. Yale Univ. Press,
1995. A clinical psychologist and a
psychiatrist, both adoptive mothers,
insightfully and sympathetically prepare parents
for conversations with their children about
adoption.
TELLING THE TRUTH TO
YOUR ADOPTED OR FOSTER CHILD: Making Sense of
the Past. Jayne Schooler and
Betsy Keefer. Bergin & Garvey, 2000. Provides
excellent and straightforward guidance for
adoptive and foster parents. Easy format gives
parents the help they need to share information
openly and honestly at various stages with their
children, adolescents and adults.
When beginning a search, contact
a search or support group. Acquaint yourself
with the search process by looking online for
resources and/or in your library at recently
published books.
ADOPTION SEARCHBOOK. Mary Jo Rillera. Triadoption, 1991 (1 st Ed.
1988). A basic handbook outlining techniques for
finding people. Author is both an adoptee and
birthmother, making her uniquely qualified to
scrutinize the emotional and procedural aspects
of post-adoption issues.
ADOPTION SEARCHES
MADE EASIER. Joseph J. Culligan.
FJA, Inc., 1996. A licensed private investigator
provides a wealth of search techniques and tips
based on his own successes in finding people.
BIRTHRIGHT: The
Guide to Search and Reunion for Adoptees,
Birthparents and Adoptive Parents. Jean A. S. Strauss. Penguin Press, 1994. Part
One tells how to search; part two deals with the
effects of reunion an all members of the
adoption triad.
HOW TO FIND ALMOST
ANYONE ANYWHERE. Norma Mott
Tillman. Rutledge Hill Press, 1998. Imparts the basics on how to locate birth
parents, siblings and loved ones, how to access
military and government files, and how to use
many of the legal techniques private
investigators use in conducting a personal
search.
HOW TO LOCATE ANYONE
WHO IS OR HAS BEEN IN THE MILITARY. Lt. Col Richard S. Johnson. Military
Information Enterprise , 1999. Direct, easy to
use, reader-friendly how-to guide packed with
tips, tricks and techniques for finding anyone
with an American military connection, whether on
active duty, reserve or retired.
LIFELINE: The Action
Guide to Adoption Search. Virgil
L. Klunder. Caradium, 1991. Offers a compendium
of advice and encouragement for adoptees,
adoptive parents, and birth parents to sharpen
and strengthen their skills at locating blood
relatives with whom connections have been
severed by the relinquishment and adoption
process.
SEARCH: A Handbook
for Adoptees and Birthparents.
Jayne Askin. Oryx Press, 1998. Detailed
step-by-step process for unearthing adoption
information through sealed records, government
data and reference resources. Includes listing
of online services for networking with other
searchers.
SEARCH BOOK.
Independent Search Consultants.
1995. National listing of search
consultants. Available from the
American Adoption Congress, 1000
Connecticut Ave., N.W., Suite #9 ,
Washington DC 20036.
SHEA’S SEARCH SERIES. Shea Grimm. A guide to self-empowered search
written by an adoptee rights activist. Available
online at www.bastards.org.
AN ADOPTED WOMAN. Katrina Maxtone-Graham. Remi, 1983. A
well-written memoir by a New York City woman who
found her birth mother in Mexico. Obstacles to
searching twenty years ago are powerfully and
poignantly documented.
ADOPTION REUNIONS: A
Book for Adoptees, Birth Parents and Adoptive
Families. Michelle McColm. Second
Story Press, 1993. {Made into a Hallmark Hall of
Fame movie, “The Lost Child”.} An adoptee who
has worked with other adoptees and birthparents
explores the roots and process of reunion.
THE ADOPTION REUNION
SURVIVAL GUIDE: Preparing Yourself for the
Search, Reunion and Beyond. Julie
Jarrell Bailey and Lynn N. Giddens. New
Harbinger Pubs, 2001. Using real-life examples,
this compassionate guide helps adoptees and
birthmothers decide whether or not to search,
prepare for reunion, survive emotional
turbulence of the initial meeting and avoid
common pitfalls. Includes an overview of
pertinent state laws.
BENEATH A TALL TREE. Jean Strauss. Arete, 2001. Best-selling
author’s memoir about her quest to unearth her
past. An incredibly funny and touching journey
that redefines the meaning of family and
celebrates the universal connections that link
us all.
BIRTHBOND: Reunions
Between Birthparents & Adoptees, What Happens
After. Judith Gediman and Linda
P. Brown. New Horizons Press, 1989. The authors
interviewed thirty birthmothers in lasting
reunions, along with adoptees, other members of
the birth family and adoptive parents to
discover the impact of reunion on all involved.
GIVING AWAY SIMONE:
A Memoir. Jan Waldron. Times
Books, 1995. The author reunited with her
daughter when the girl was eleven years old.
Waldron powerfully describes the struggle of
birthmother and child to build a relationship.
ITHAKA: A Daughter’s
Memoir of Being Found. Sarah Saffian. Basic Books, 1998. A gripping true
story of a young woman’s quest for the meaning
of family and belonging.
LOOKING FOR LOST
BIRD: A Jewish Woman Discovers Her Navajo Roots.
Yvette Melanson. Bard Books, 1999
{Also a movie}. An inspirational story for
adoptees, particularly Native Americans, seeking
to uncover their past.
A MAN AND HIS MOTHER. Tim Green. Harper Collins, 1997 (Out of
Print). With intelligence and emotional honesty,
novelist, commentator and former football star
tackles the subject of his search for his
birthmother.
REUNION : A Year in
Letters Between a Birthmother and the Daughter
She Couldn’t Keep. Katie Hern and
Ellen McGarry Carlson. Seal Press, 1999.
Beautifully written and authentic exchange. An
English instructor at a Bay Area university and
gay adoptee and her birthmother get to know each
other and face the inevitable issues and
emotions of reunion.
SACRED CONNECTIONS:
Stories of Adoption. Mary Ann
Koenig. Niki Berg, photographer. Running Press,
2000. Twenty-Four essays in which adopted
persons, birth parents and adoptive parents
share their moving experiences of finding the
sacred connections in their lives.
SO HERE I AM BUT
WHERE DID I COME FROM: An Adoptee’s Search for
Identity. Mary Ruth Wotherspoon.
Pate, 1994. The author shares the account of her
search for her birth parents and offers ways to
help others understand the process and what to
expect in their own quests.
THANK YOU, SON, FOR
FINDING ME: A Birthmother’s Story. Beth Kane. Aslan, 1999. A personal story about
the reunion of a birthmother and the son who
searched for her.
TWICE BORN: Memoirs
of an Adopted Daughter. Betty
Jean Lifton. Griffon, 1998. Travel with the
author through her journey of self-discovery,
from her need to know through her search and
into reunion.
ADOPTION AND LOSS: The Hidden
Grief. Evelyn Burns
Robinson. Clova Publications, 2003
(revised edition).
ADOPTION AND RECOVERY: Solving
the Mystery of Reunion.
Evelyn Burns Robinson. Clova
Publications, 2004.
This was written as a companion to
the above book.
A GHOST AT HEART’S
EDGE: Stories and Poems of Adoption. Susan Ito, and Tina Cervin, Editors. North
Atlantic Books, 1999. A beautifully compiled and
evocative collection of writings on the adoption
experience from all sides of the triad.
PERSPECTIVES ON A
GRAFTED TREE. Patricia Irwin
Johnson. Perspectives Press, 1983. A lovely
collection of poetry expressing perspectives of
all members of the adoption triad.
TOUCHED BY ADOPTION:
Stories, Letters and Poems. Nancy
A. Robinson. Green River Press, 1999. A variety
of literary expressions about the adoption
experience.
ADOPTION NATION: How
the Adoption Revolution is Transforming America. Adam Pertman. Basic Books, 2000. This Pulitzer
Prize nominee and adoptive parent, through
compelling true stories, covers issues on foster
care, international and domestic adoption, open
adoption, use of the internet, infertility,
sealing of adoptees’ birth certificates, and
more.
ADOPTION: Philosophy
and Experience. Randolph W.
Severson. House of Tomorrow, 1994. Deeply
spiritual and emotional; covers adoption
practice, adoption rights movement and social
science/social service with sensitivity and
eloquence.
ADOPTIVE KINSHIP: A
Modern Institution in Need of Reform. H. David Kirk. Ben-Simon, 1985. A critical
examination of adoption practices and legal
provisions in North America which subscribe to
secrecy, contradiction and discrimination.
BEGGARS AND
CHOOSERS: How the Politics of Choice Shapes
Adoption, Abortion and Welfare in the United
States. Rickie Solinger. Hill &
Wang, 2002. Well-written and
researched, the book defines the politics of
motherhood through comparisons of white women
with women of color, poor or middle class,
during the era of choice.
ETHICS IN AMERICAN
ADOPTION. Anne L. Babb. Bergin &
Garvey, 1999. A review of ethical standards in
the U.S. and a call for reform.
LETHAL SECRETS: The
Psychology of Donor Insemination: Problems and
Solutions. Annette Baran and
Reuben Pannor. Armistad Press, 1993. The authors
explore the implications of the secrecy that
surrounds human donor insemination in the firm
belief that maintaining the human element and
historical connection is crucial.
THE PSYCHOLOGY OF
ADOPTION. David Brodzinsky and
Marshall Schechter, editors. Oxford Press, 1993.
Theoretical, empirical, clinical and social
policy issues offer new insights into the
problems facing adoptive parents. A
comprehensive study of interest for all
professionals.
SOMEBODY'S CHILD: Stories from
the Private Files of an Adoption
Attorney. Randi Barrow, Esq.
Perigee, 2002. An adoption
attorney's in-depth, emotional
interviews with a sampling of her
clients.
TO PRISON WITH LOVE:
The True Story of an Indecent Indictment and
America’s Adoption Travesty.
Sandy Musser. Adoption Awareness Press, 1994. A
personal story of a birthmother’s search for her
child and her subsequent involvement in
assisting other members of the adoption triad to
search, resulting in her imprisonment. Also by
Musser, I WOULD HAVE SEARCHED
FOREVER.
WAKE UP LITTLE
SUSIE: Single Pregnancy & Race Before Roe V.
Wade. Rickie Solinger. Routledge,
(2nd Ed. 2000). A pioneering work and a
must-read for anyone seeking to understand the
complex and disturbing politics surrounding
issues of race, class and reproductive rights.
BLESSINGS. Anna
Quindlen. Random House, 2003.
A teenage couple leave their newborn
baby on the doorstep of a gracious
home owned by a wealthy widow.
In this instant, the world of the
estate called Blessings is changed
forever.
THEN SHE FOUND ME.
Elinor Lipman. Pocket Books,
1990. For thirty-six years,
Bernice has followed the life of the
daughter she gave up for adoption.
Now she's ready to be a mom.
And she's hurtling straight for
April's quiet little life.
