THE ADOPTION READER: Birth Mothers, Adoptive Mothers & Adopted Daughters Tell Their Stories. Susan Wadia-Ells , Editor. Seal Press, 1995. Thirty women, including well-known writers and adoption activists, write eloquently about a wide range of adoption experiences including international adoption.
THE ADOPTION TRIANGLE: Sealed or Open Records, How They Affect Adoptees, Birth Parents and Adoptive Parents. Arthur Sorosky, et al. Anchor Books, 1984. Based on 1000 interviews of adoptees, adoptive parents, birthparents.
ADOPTION WISDOM: A Guide to the Issues and Feelings of Adoption. Marlou Russell. Broken Branch Productions, 1996. Well-balanced perspective that fosters insight and understanding of adoptees, birth parents and adoptive parents.
BEING ADOPTED: The Lifelong Search for Self. David M. Brodzinsky, et al. Doubleday, 1992. Uses Erik Erikson’s stages of life, the expertise of adoption professionals and adoptees to show how adoption is experienced over a lifetime.
JOURNEYS AFTER ADOPTION:Understanding Lifelong Issues. Jayne Schooler and Betsie Norris. Bergin & Garvey, 2002. Drawing on experiences of dozens of triad members, authors offer insight into concerns, issues, joys and pain experienced by those whose lives are framed by adoption.
LOST & FOUND: The Adoption Experience. Betty Jean Lifton. Perennial Library, 1988 (first ed. 1979). Based on an adoptee’s talks with other adoptees but includes conversations with birthparents and adoptive parents as well.
MAY THE CIRCLE BE UNBROKEN: An Intimate Journey Into the Heart of Adoption. Lynn Franklin and Elizabeth Ferber. Harmony Books, 1998. A no-nonsense book that weaves a poignant memoir of a woman who reunited with the child she gave up for adoption with many stories from others into an intelligent, well-informed and complete picture of the varied experience of adoption.
BIRTHMOTHERS: Women Who Have Relinquished Babies for Adoption Tell Their Stories. Merry Bloch Jones. Chicago Review Press, 1993. Seventy women share their experiences of giving birth and placing a child for adoption, raising subsequent children, searching and being found.
THE GIFT WRAPPED IN SORROW: A Mother’s Quest for Healing. Jane Guttman. JMJ Publishing, 1999. A memoir spanning three decades of loss and love, regret and remorse during which the author discovers the gifts that are ever-present amid many saddening recollections.
HEALING A HOLE IN A HEART: One Birthmother’s Journey Into the Adoption Triangle. Nancy Mac Isaac. Mac Isaac Enterprises, 1998. A guide to weathering reunions, making adjustments and building relationships; facing fears and finding friendships.
I HOPE YOU HAVE A GOOD LIFE. Campbell Armstrong. Crown, 2000. A powerful, life-affirming, emotion-stirring account of a mother and a daughter, parted for forty years through adoption, and reunited only when both are terminally ill. One of the finest memoirs written in many years, it is a book to lift your spirits, not to dampen them.
THE OTHER MOTHER: A Woman’s Love for the Child She Gave Up for Adoption. Carol Schaefer. Soho Press Inc., 1991 {Made into a Moment of Truth TV movie}. A Bay Area woman tells her experience of pregnancy in a Midwest home for “unwed mothers,” relinquishing her son, her years of loss, her search and reunion.
OUT OF THE SHADOWS: Birthfather Stories. Mary Martin Mason. Howard, 1995. Frank, honest look at those who had confidence to speak out. Often invisible, birthfathers care deeply and in many cases had no say in their child’s future.
SOUL CONNECTION: Memoir of a Birthmother’s Healing Journey. Ann Hughes. Otter Bay Books, 1999. Captures the spiritual journey of a birthmother who holds onto hope that something, someday, will heal the darkest, blackest hole in her life – the surrendering of her daughter.
ADOPTEES COME OF AGE: Living within Two Families. Ronald J. Nydam. John Knox Press, 1999. For adoptees and anyone who relates to them. Describes distinct emotional and spiritual challenges and emphasizes importance of ongoing issues of adoption and relinquishment.
ADOPTION HEALING: A Path to Recovery. Joe Soll. Liturgical Press, 2000. Traces adopter’s personality from birth through developmental milestones; techniques for healing, visualizations and anger management.
JOURNEY OF THE ADOPTED SELF: A Quest for Wholeness. Betty Jean Lifton. Basic Books, 1994. Lifton addresses the myths surrounding adoption. This book delves into psychological effects of adoption, and is recommended for reading after one or more of the general books.
THE PRIMAL WOUND: Understanding the Adopted Child. Nancy Verrier. Gateway Press, 1993. Order from the author at 919 Village Center, Lafayette CA 94549. $14.95 plus $3.00 S/H. Provides profound information about pre-and perinatal psychology, attachment, bonding and loss. Outlines the pain of loss and abandonment and gives insight into the healing process.
SEARCHING FOR A PAST: The Adopted Adult’s Unique Process of Finding Identity. Jayne Schooler. Pinon Press, 1995. Provides insight into adoptees’ motivations to search for their birth families. Essential resource for all members of the adoption triad as well as anyone desiring a better understanding of the search and reunion process.
SECOND CHOICE: Growing Up Adopted. Robert Anderson, M.D. Badger-Hill, 1993. A black market adoptee who is also a psychiatrist tells his story, showing that the search process can be healing even when no birth relatives are found.
SYNCHRONICITY AND REUNION: The Genetic Connection of Adoptees and Birthparents. LaVonne Harper Stiffler. Stiffler, 1992. A book exploring the nature/nurture connections through studies, anecdotes and the author’s life situation.
TWENTY THINGS ADOPTED KIDS WISH THEIR ADOPTIVE PARENTS KNEW. Eldridge, Sherrie. Dell, 1999. A guide to emotions of the adoptee and ways adoptive parents can allay feelings of fear, abandonment and shame.
WHERE ARE MY BIRTH PARENTS? A Guide for Teenage Adoptees. Karen Gravelle and Susan Fischer. Walker 1993. Discusses how and why adopted children may try to locate and get to know their birthparents and examines possible psychological benefits and problems associated with the process.
WHOSE CHILD? An Adoptee’s Healing Journey from Relinquishment Through Reunion…and Beyond. Kasey Hamner. Triad, 2000. Well-written and poignant in its honest story, this book will help other adoptees, birth parents and adoptive parents understand the complexities of the issues associated with adoption and the importance of reunion in the lives of adoptees.
THE MULBERRY BIRD: Story of an Adoption. Anne Brodzinsky. Perspectives Press, 1996. For younger children (beyond preschool); tells the story of a mother bird who tries to care for her baby, then decides to place it for adoption, and explains her reasons in a non-threatening way.
OVER THE MOON: An Adoption Tale. Karen Katz. Henry Holt, 1997. In this story of international adoption, the baby has a history, which the adoptive parents preserve as they practice telling the baby its story, including the birthmother and foster parents.
TELL ME AGAIN ABOUT THE NIGHT I WAS BORN. Jamie Lee Curtis. 1996. Beautifully illustrated book in which the story of a young adopted girl’s birth is a cherished family tale.
TELL ME A REAL ADOPTION STORY. Betty Jean Lifton. Illustrated by Claire A. Nivola. Knopf, 1993. A small boy listens to his adoptive mother’s made-up stories about his adoption but insists on the real one, which she then tells. This story he likes, because it’s his.
ADOPTING THE HURT CHILD: Hope for Families with Special Needs: A Guide for Parents and Professionals. Gregory C. Keck and Regina M. Kupecky. Pinon Press, 1998. Comprehensive and beneficial guide includes foreign adoption and integrates social and psychological issues that interrupt the adopted children’s normal development.
COURAGEOUS BLESSING: Adoptive Parents & Search. Carol L. Demuth. A thoughtfully written handbook for adoptive parents. Available through Aries Center, 1437 Meandering Way, Garland TX 75040-4213; 214/414-3639.
DEAR BIRTHMOTHER. Kathleen Silber and Phyllis Speedlin. Corona, 1991 (1st ed. 1983). A compilation of letters written to birthmothers by the adoptive parents of their children. An early perspective on open adoptions.
THE FAMILY OF ADOPTION. Joyce M. Pavao. Beacon Press, 1998. Describes the developmental stages of the adopted child.
HOW TO OPEN AN ADOPTION: A Guide for Parents and Birthparents of Minors. Patricia Martinez Dorner. R-Squared Press, 1997. A valuable resource for families in closed adoptions, those who are in the process of opening an adoption or those who have already done so.
INSIDE TRANSRACIAL ADOPTION: Strength-based, culture-sensitizing parenting strategies for inter-country or domestic adoptive families that don’t match. Gail Steinberg and Beth Hall. Perspectives Press, 2000. Comprehensive guide aimed primarily at white adoptive parents. A must-read for multi-racial families created through adoption.
RAISING ADOPTED CHILDREN: A Parent’s Guide to Rearing Children in an Adoptive Family. Lois R. Melina. Harper Perennial, Rev. 1998. Editor of Adopted Children newsletter, mother of two adopted children, draws on latest research in psychology, sociology and medicine to guide parents through stages of adoptees’ development. Addresses open, international and transracial adoption.
REAL PARENTS, REAL CHILDREN: Parenting the Adopted Child. Holly Van Gulden and Lisa M. Bartels-Rabb. Crossroad, New York 1995. A leading adoption authority gives practical advice for parents on how to talk with their children about adoption. Addresses the special challenges and concerns of interracial, international and older-child adoptions.
SHARED FATE: A Theory of Adoption and Mental Health. H. David Kirk. Free Press, 1964. Adoptive father/sociologist expresses a theory of adoptive relationships – thoroughly attuned, insightful, compassionate and timeless in its wisdom.
TALKING WITH YOUNG CHILDREN ABOUT ADOPTION. Mary Watkins and Susan Fisher. Yale Univ. Press, 1995. A clinical psychologist and a psychiatrist, both adoptive mothers, insightfully and sympathetically prepare parents for conversations with their children about adoption.
TELLING THE TRUTH TO YOUR ADOPTED OR FOSTER CHILD:Making Sense of the Past. Jayne Schooler and Betsy Keefer. Bergin & Garvey, 2000. Provides excellent and straightforward guidance for adoptive and foster parents. Easy format gives parents the help they need to share information openly and honestly at various stages with their children, adolescents and adults.