THE ADOPTION READER: Birth Mothers, Adoptive Mothers & Adopted Daughters Tell Their Stories .SusanWadia-Ells, Editor. Seal Press, 1995. Thirty women, including well-known writers and adoption activists, write eloquently about a wide range of adoption experiences including international adoption.
THE ADOPTION TRIANGLE: Sealed or Open Records, How They Affect Adoptees, Birth Parents and Adoptive Parents . Arthur Sorosky, et al. Anchor Books, 1984. Based on 1000 interviews of adoptees, adoptive parents, birthparents.
ADOPTION WISDOM: A Guide to the Issues and Feelings of Adoption . Marlou Russell. Broken Branch Productions, 1996. Well-balanced perspective that fosters insight and understanding of adoptees, birth parents and adoptive parents.
BEING ADOPTED: The Lifelong Search for Self . David M. Brodzinsky, et al. Doubleday, 1992. Uses Erik Erikson’s stages of life, the expertise of adoption professionals and adoptees to show how adoption is experienced over a lifetime.
JOURNEYS AFTER ADOPTION: Understanding Lifelong Issues .Jayne Schooler and Betsie Norris. Bergin & Garvey, 2002. Drawing on experiences of dozens of triad members, authors offer insight into concerns, issues, joys and pain experienced by those whose lives are framed by adoption.
LOST & FOUND: The Adoption Experience . Betty Jean Lifton. Perennial Library, 1988 (first ed. 1979). Based on an adoptee’s talks with other adoptees but includes conversations with birthparents and adoptive parents as well.
MAY THE CIRCLE BE UNBROKEN: An Intimate Journey Into the Heart of Adoption . Lynn Franklin and Elizabeth Ferber. Harmony Books, 1998. A no-nonsense book that weaves a poignant memoir of a woman who reunited with the child she gave up for adoption with many stories from others into an intelligent, well-informed and complete picture of the varied experience of adoption.
BIRTHMOTHERS: Women Who Have Relinquished Babies for Adoption Tell Their Stories . Merry Bloch Jones. Chicago Review Press, 1993. Seventy women share their experiences of giving birth and placing a child for adoption, raising subsequent children, searching and being found.
THE GIFT WRAPPED IN SORROW: A Mother’s Quest for Healing . Jane Guttman. JMJ Publishing, 1999. A memoir spanning three decades of loss and love, regret and remorse during which the author discovers the gifts that are ever-present amid many saddening recollections.
HEALING A HOLE IN A HEART: One Birthmother’s Journey Into the Adoption Triangle . Nancy Mac Isaac. Mac Isaac Enterprises, 1998. A guide to weathering reunions, making adjustments and building relationships; facing fears and finding friendships.
I HOPE YOU HAVE A GOOD LIFE . Campbell Armstrong. Crown, 2000. A powerful, life-affirming, emotion-stirring account of a mother and a daughter, parted for forty years through adoption, and reunited only when both are terminally ill. One of the finest memoirs written in many years, it is a book to lift your spirits, not to dampen them.
THE OTHER MOTHER: A Woman’s Love for the Child She Gave Up for Adoption . CarolSchaefer. Soho Press Inc., 1991 {Made into a Moment of Truth TV movie}. A Bay Area woman tells her experience of pregnancy in a Midwest home for “unwed mothers,” relinquishing her son, her years of loss, her search and reunion.
OUT OF THE SHADOWS: Birthfather Stories . Mary Martin Mason. Howard, 1995. Frank, honest look at those who had confidence to speak out. Often invisible, birthfathers care deeply and in many cases had no say in their child’s future.
SOUL CONNECTION: Memoir of a Birthmother’s Healing Journey . Ann Hughes. Otter Bay Books, 1999. Captures the spiritual journey of a birthmother who holds onto hope that something, someday, will heal the darkest, blackest hole in her life – the surrendering of her daughter.
ADOPTEES COME OF AGE: Living within Two Families . Ronald J. Nydam. John Knox Press, 1999. For adoptees and anyone who relates to them. Describes distinct emotional and spiritual challenges and emphasizes importance of ongoing issues of adoption and relinquishment.
ADOPTION HEALING: A Path to Recovery . Joe Soll. Liturgical Press, 2000. Traces adopter’s personality from birth through developmental milestones; techniques for healing, visualizations and anger management.
JOURNEY OF THE ADOPTED SELF: A Quest for Wholeness . Betty Jean Lifton. Basic Books, 1994. Lifton addresses the myths surrounding adoption. This book delves into psychological effects of adoption, and is recommended for reading after one or more of the general books.
THE PRIMAL WOUND: Understanding the Adopted Child . Nancy Verrier. Gateway Press, 1993. Order from the author at 919 Village Center, Lafayette CA 94549 . $14.95 plus $3.00 S/H. Provides profound information about pre-and perinatal psychology, attachment, bonding and loss. Outlines the pain of loss and abandonment and gives insight into the healing process.
SEARCHING FOR A PAST: The Adopted Adult’s Unique Process of Finding Identity . Jayne Schooler. Pinon Press, 1995. Provides insight into adoptees’ motivations to search for their birth families. Essential resource for all members of the adoption triad as well as anyone desiring a better understanding of the search and reunion process.
SECOND CHOICE: Growing Up Adopted . Robert Anderson, M.D. Badger-Hill, 1993. A black market adoptee who is also a psychiatrist tells his story, showing that the search process can be healing even when no birth relatives are found.
SYNCHRONICITY AND REUNION : The Genetic Connection of Adoptees and Birthparents . LaVonne Harper Stiffler. Stiffler, 1992. A book exploring the nature/nurture connections through studies, anecdotes and the author’s life situation.
TWENTY THINGS ADOPTED KIDS WISH THEIR ADOPTIVE PARENTS KNEW . Eldridge, Sherrie. Dell, 1999. A guide to emotions of the adoptee and ways adoptive parents can allay feelings of fear, abandonment and shame.
WHERE ARE MY BIRTH PARENTS? A Guide for Teenage Adoptees . Karen Gravelle and Susan Fischer. Walker 1993. Discusses how and why adopted children may try to locate and get to know their birthparents and examines possible psychological benefits and problems associated with the process.
WHOSE CHILD? An Adoptee’s Healing Journey from Relinquishment Through Reunion …and Beyond . Kasey Hamner. Triad, 2000. Well-written and poignant in its honest story, this book will help other adoptees, birth parents and adoptive parents understand the complexities of the issues associated with adoption and the importance of reunion in the lives of adoptees.
THE MULBERRY BIRD: Story of an Adoption . Anne Brodzinsky. Perspectives Press, 1996. For younger children (beyond preschool); tells the story of a mother bird who tries to care for her baby, then decides to place it for adoption, and explains her reasons in a non-threatening way.
OVER THE MOON: An Adoption Tale . Karen Katz. Henry Holt, 1997. In this story of international adoption, the baby has a history, which the adoptive parents preserve as they practice telling the baby its story, including the birthmother and foster parents.
TELL ME AGAIN ABOUT THE NIGHT I WAS BORN . Jamie Lee Curtis. 1996. Beautifully illustrated book in which the story of a young adopted girl’s birth is a cherished family tale.
TELL ME A REAL ADOPTION STORY . Betty Jean Lifton. Illustrated by Claire A. Nivola. Knopf, 1993. A small boy listens to his adoptive mother’s made-up stories about his adoption but insists on the real one, which she then tells. This story he likes, because it’s his.
ADOPTING THE HURT CHILD: Hope for Families with Special Needs: A Guide for Parents and Professionals . Gregory C. Keck and Regina M. Kupecky. Pinon Press, 1998. Comprehensive and beneficial guide includes foreign adoption and integrates social and psychological issues that interrupt the adopted children’s normal development.
COURAGEOUS BLESSING: Adoptive Parents & Search . Carol L. Demuth. A thoughtfully written handbook for adoptive parents. Available through Aries Center , 1437 Meandering Way, Garland TX 75040-4213 ; 214/414-3639.
DEAR BIRTHMOTHER . Kathleen Silber and Phyllis Speedlin. Corona , 1991 (1 st ed. 1983). A compilation of letters written to birthmothers by the adoptive parents of their children. An early perspective on open adoptions.
THE FAMILY OF ADOPTION . Joyce M. Pavao. Beacon Press, 1998. Describes the developmental stages of the adopted child.
HOW TO OPEN AN ADOPTION: A Guide for Parents and Birthparents of Minors . Patricia Martinez Dorner. R-Squared Press, 1997. A valuable resource for families in closed adoptions, those who are in the process of opening an adoption or those who have already done so.
INSIDE TRANSRACIAL ADOPTION: Strength-based, culture-sensitizing parenting strategies for inter-country or domestic adoptive families that don’t match . Gail Steinberg and Beth Hall. Perspectives Press, 2000. Comprehensive guide aimed primarily at white adoptive parents. A must-read for multi-racial families created through adoption.
RAISING ADOPTED CHILDREN: A Parent’s Guide to Rearing Children in an Adoptive Family . Lois R. Melina. Harper Perennial, Rev. 1998. Editor of Adopted Children newsletter, mother of two adopted children, draws on latest research in psychology, sociology and medicine to guide parents through stages of adoptees’ development. Addresses open, international and transracial adoption.
REAL PARENTS, REAL CHILDREN: Parenting the Adopted Child . Holly Van Gulden and Lisa M. Bartels-Rabb. Crossroad, New York 1995. A leading adoption authority gives practical advice for parents on how to talk with their children about adoption. Addresses the special challenges and concerns of interracial, international and older-child adoptions.
SHARED FATE: A Theory of Adoption and Mental Health . H. David Kirk. Free Press, 1964. Adoptive father/sociologist expresses a theory of adoptive relationships – thoroughly attuned, insightful, compassionate and timeless in its wisdom.
TALKING WITH YOUNG CHILDREN ABOUT ADOPTION . Mary Watkins and Susan Fisher. Yale Univ. Press, 1995. A clinical psychologist and a psychiatrist, both adoptive mothers, insightfully and sympathetically prepare parents for conversations with their children about adoption.
TELLING THE TRUTH TO YOUR ADOPTED OR FOSTER CHILD: Making Sense of the Past . Jayne Schooler and Betsy Keefer. Bergin & Garvey, 2000. Provides excellent and straightforward guidance for adoptive and foster parents. Easy format gives parents the help they need to share information openly and honestly at various stages with their children, adolescents and adults.
When beginning a search, contact a search or support group. Acquaint yourself with the search process by looking online for resources and/or in your library at recently published books.
ADOPTION SEARCHBOOK . Mary Jo Rillera. Triadoption, 1991 (1 st Ed. 1988). A basic handbook outlining techniques for finding people. Author is both an adoptee and birthmother, making her uniquely qualified to scrutinize the emotional and procedural aspects of post-adoption issues.
ADOPTION SEARCHES MADE EASIER . Joseph J. Culligan. FJA, Inc., 1996. A licensed private investigator provides a wealth of search techniques and tips based on his own successes in finding people.
BIRTHRIGHT: The Guide to Search and Reunion for Adoptees, Birthparents and Adoptive Parents . Jean A. S. Strauss. Penguin Press, 1994. Part One tells how to search; part two deals with the effects of reunion an all members of the adoption triad.
HOW TO FIND ALMOST ANYONE ANYWHERE . Norma Mott Tillman. Rutledge Hill Press, 1998. Imparts the basics on how to locate birth parents, siblings and loved ones, how to access military and government files, and how to use many of the legal techniques private investigators use in conducting a personal search.
HOW TO LOCATE ANYONE WHO IS OR HAS BEEN IN THE MILITARY . Lt. Col Richard S. Johnson. Military Information Enterprise , 1999. Direct, easy to use, reader-friendly how-to guide packed with tips, tricks and techniques for finding anyone with an American military connection, whether on active duty, reserve or retired.
LIFELINE:The Action Guide to Adoption Search . Virgil L. Klunder. Caradium, 1991. Offers a compendium of advice and encouragement for adoptees, adoptive parents, and birth parents to sharpen and strengthen their skills at locating blood relatives with whom connections have been severed by the relinquishment and adoption process.
SEARCH: A Handbook for Adoptees and Birthparents . Jayne Askin. Oryx Press, 1998. Detailed step-by-step process for unearthing adoption information through sealed records, government data and reference resources. Includes listing of online services for networking with other searchers.
SEARCH BOOK . Independent Search Consultants. 1995. National listing of search consultants. Available from the American Adoption Congress, 1000 Connecticut Ave., N.W., Suite #9 , Washington DC 20036 .
SHEA’S SEARCH SERIES . Shea Grimm. A guide to self-empowered search written by an adoptee rights activist. Available online at www.bastards.org.
AN ADOPTED WOMAN . Katrina Maxtone-Graham. Remi, 1983. A well-written memoir by a New York City woman who found her birth mother in Mexico . Obstacles to searching twenty years ago are powerfully and poignantly documented.
ADOPTION REUNIONS: A Book for Adoptees, Birth Parents and Adoptive Families . Michelle McColm. Second Story Press, 1993. {Made into a Hallmark Hall of Fame movie, “The Lost Child”.} An adoptee who has worked with other adoptees and birthparents explores the roots and process of reunion.
THE ADOPTION REUNION SURVIVAL GUIDE: Preparing Yourself for the Search, Reunion and Beyond . Julie Jarrell Bailey and Lynn N. Giddens. New Harbinger Pubs, 2001. Using real-life examples, this compassionate guide helps adoptees and birthmothers decide whether or not to search, prepare for reunion, survive emotional turbulence of the initial meeting and avoid common pitfalls. Includes an overview of pertinent state laws.
BENEATH A TALL TREE . Jean Strauss. Arete, 2001. Best-selling author’s memoir about her quest to unearth her past. An incredibly funny and touching journey that redefines the meaning of family and celebrates the universal connections that link us all.
BIRTHBOND: Reunions Between Birthparents & Adoptees, What Happens After . Judith Gediman and Linda P. Brown. New Horizons Press, 1989. The authors interviewed thirty birthmothers in lasting reunions, along with adoptees, other members of the birth family and adoptive parents to discover the impact of reunion on all involved.
GIVING AWAY SIMONE: A Memoir . Jan Waldron. Times Books, 1995. The author reunited with her daughter when the girl was eleven years old. Waldron powerfully describes the struggle of birthmother and child to build a relationship.
ITHAKA: A Daughter’s Memoir of Being Found . Sarah Saffian. Basic Books, 1998. A gripping true story of a young woman’s quest for the meaning of family and belonging.
LOOKING FOR LOST BIRD: A Jewish Woman Discovers Her Navajo Roots . Yvette Melanson. Bard Books, 1999 {Also a movie}. An inspirational story for adoptees, particularly Native Americans, seeking to uncover their past.
A MAN AND HIS MOTHER . Tim Green. Harper Collins, 1997 (Out of Print). With intelligence and emotional honesty, novelist, commentator and former football star tackles the subject of his search for his birthmother.
REUNION : A Year in Letters Between a Birthmother and the Daughter She Couldn’t Keep . Katie Hern and Ellen McGarry Carlson. Seal Press, 1999. Beautifully written and authentic exchange. An English instructor at a Bay Area university and gay adoptee and her birthmother get to know each other and face the inevitable issues and emotions of reunion.
SACRED CONNECTIONS: Stories of Adoption . Mary Ann Koenig. Niki Berg, photographer. Running Press, 2000. Twenty-Four essays in which adopted persons, birth parents and adoptive parents share their moving experiences of finding the sacred connections in their lives.
SO HERE I AM BUT WHERE DID I COME FROM: An Adoptee’s Search for Identity . Mary Ruth Wotherspoon. Pate, 1994. The author shares the account of her search for her birth parents and offers ways to help others understand the process and what to expect in their own quests.
THANK YOU, SON, FOR FINDING ME: A Birthmother’s Story . Beth Kane. Aslan, 1999. A personal story about the reunion of a birthmother and the son who searched for her.
TWICE BORN: Memoirs of an Adopted Daughter . Betty Jean Lifton. Griffon, 1998. Travel with the author through her journey of self-discovery, from her need to know through her search and into reunion.
A GHOST AT HEART’S EDGE: Stories and Poems of Adoption . Susan Ito, and Tina Cervin, Editors. North Atlantic Books, 1999. A beautifully compiled and evocative collection of writings on the adoption experience from all sides of the triad.
PERSPECTIVES ON A GRAFTED TREE . Patricia Irwin Johnson. Perspectives Press, 1983. A lovely collection of poetry expressing perspectives of all members of the adoption triad.
TOUCHED BY ADOPTION: Stories, Letters and Poems . Nancy A. Robinson. Green River Press, 1999. A variety of literary expressions about the adoption experience.
ADOPTION NATION: How the Adoption Revolution is Transforming America . Adam Pertman. Basic Books, 2000. This Pulitzer Prize nominee and adoptive parent, through compelling true stories, covers issues on foster care, international and domestic adoption, open adoption, use of the internet, infertility, sealing of adoptees’ birth certificates, and more.
ADOPTION: Philosophy and Experience . Randolph W. Severson. House of Tomorrow, 1994. Deeply spiritual and emotional; covers adoption practice, adoption rights movement and social science/social service with sensitivity and eloquence.
ADOPTIVE KINSHIP: A Modern Institution in Need of Reform . H. David Kirk. Ben-Simon, 1985. A critical examination of adoption practices and legal provisions in North America which subscribe to secrecy, contradiction and discrimination.
BEGGARS AND CHOOSERS: How the Politics of Choice Shapes Adoption, Abortion and Welfare in the United States . Rickie Solinger. Hill & Wang, 2002. Well-written and researched, the book defines the politics of motherhood through comparisons of white women with women of color, poor or middle class, during the era of choice.
ETHICS IN AMERICAN ADOPTION . Anne L. Babb. Bergin & Garvey, 1999. A review of ethical standards in the U.S. and a call for reform.
LETHAL SECRETS: The Psychology of Donor Insemination: Problems and Solutions . Annette Baran and Reuben Pannor. Armistad Press, 1993. The authors explore the implications of the secrecy that surrounds human donor insemination in the firm belief that maintaining the human element and historical connection is crucial.
THE PSYCHOLOGY OF ADOPTION . David Brodzinsky and Marshall Schechter, editors. Oxford Press, 1993. Theoretical, empirical, clinical and social policy issues offer new insights into the problems facing adoptive parents. A comprehensive study of interest for all professionals.
TO PRISON WITH LOVE: The True Story of an Indecent Indictment and America’s Adoption Travesty . Sandy Musser. Adoption Awareness Press, 1994. A personal story of a birthmother’s search for her child and her subsequent involvement in assisting other members of the adoption triad to search, resulting in her imprisonment. Also by Musser, I WOULD HAVE SEARCHED FOREVER.
WAKE UP LITTLE SUSIE: Single Pregnancy & Race Before Roe V. Wade . Rickie Solinger. Routledge, (2nd Ed. 2000). A pioneering work and a must-read for anyone seeking to understand the complex and disturbing politics surrounding issues of race, class and reproductive rights.
Note: Titles are loosely categorized. Check additional headings for books of interest.